I'm in a glass case of emotion

Its been a while since I've written a personal post, and strangely enough they are my favourite ones to write. However my life has felt a little hectic lately and honestly a big part of that is my own fault. I like to keep myself busy, it gives me less time to think. I had a few rocky weeks where I really wasn't feeling myself. I'm a highly emotional person and I've never really hidden that, sometimes I think its important to show emotion and then there are times when I wish I could hide it more, some people can see it as a weakness. I was waking up in the mornings upset, even crying. No real reason why, I just didn't feel right. I couldn't put my finger on it exactly but to try and describe it would be to say that I had a million things going on in my head and I didn't seem to know what I should be focusing on. At one point I was worried that I was becoming a little depressed and I don't like to use that word lightly. I wasn't even in the humour to blog or be on snapchat and that is my favourite way to take my mind off of things. Everything and almost everyone was annoying me, I was in a total "bitch mode" and I'm not embarrassed to say it. I sometimes think we are so caught up in showing how amazing everything is in our lives that we can become more focused on showing "happiness" rather than actually being happy. I would love nothing more than to wake up happy everyday but that's not always reality, some days are great, some days not so much and then I have really shitty ones too. Its hard when you go through a patch of "shitty ones" in a row. Everything seems so bleak and everyone else looks like they haven't a care in the world, their lives are just sailing along perfectly. Obviously that's not true, everyone goes through their own fair share of crap. Of course I agree that you should always work on your "own grass" but its god damn hard when everyone elses "greener than green grass" is filtered to feck all over social media.

I'm only 34 but I get stages when I panic and I feel like I'm running out of time. There is still so much I haven't done, get married, buy a house etc and so many dreams that I might never get to achieve. The reality is that all of these things cost money, alot of money and I struggle with saving for them because I always want to live in the NOW. There is nothing worse than feeling like your just existing and I think daily life and routine can sometimes cause me to go a little stir crazy. Everybody has a dream/dreams but how many of us actually get to achieve them, this scares the living hell out of me. Now I don't want to drone on and on because I'm well aware that no one wants to listen to somebodies problems, and they are not really what you would call "problems" because my family are happy and healthy and that's all that matters the most. I wanted to do a small post to say that not everything is always amazing no matter how its portrayed. So if your feeling anyway like I have been, give yourself a break. Its okay to be "in a glass case of emotion" we all go through it, even the happiest people xx