Bad attitude

I read an article recently by Dawn O Porter in Glamour magazine called "Don't judge me by my bad mood" it was refreshingly honest (which instantly made me love her) and very relatable. Very very relatable. I can be a proper moody mare at times and of course the people that suffer the most from this are poor John and the kids. I am a terrible morning person and I hate bubbly people around me when it's early, coffee is a must most mornings and especially on my off days. On Thursday when we were going to the airport (3 o clock in the morning) everyone was so excited in the car, chatting and laughing, john asking me questions and I'd just sharply say "ya" "no" or when I'm in real shitty form "what" because I'm not really listening to be honest. I have tendancy not to listen sometimes as my mind can be otherwise occupied with stupid stuff, I worry way too much. The thing is I know that I'm being an uber bitch when I'm like this but I just can't help it. When I'm in a mood I don't seem to care who knows about it or how it affects the people around me, it's when I'm at my most selfish.

Anyone that knows me will know that I absolutely wear my heart on sleeve (old irish saying) and whatever is on mind if you dare ask your sure to get the reason for my happy/sad/bad/mad current mood. When I am having a bad day and I know I genuinely have no reason to feel the way I do I start to feel guilty for feeling bad which puts me in even worse form, it's like a vicious circle. I am a very lucky girl and I've never really had anything bad ever happen to me in my life. So when I do feel down I get mad at myself for feeling the way I do but I just can't help it. It's uncontrollable.

When the kids are acting like little brats I give out to them for acting so spoilt. Maybe they are just having a bad day like we all have at times, just a bad mood like anybody else. We meet people everyday that come across ignorant and/or rude, maybe they are also just having a bad day? Dawn O Porters rule was if she meets you once and your in a bad mood she will let it go, twice and she will start to judge, 3rd time and your just not a nice person. It seems like a fair rule to be honest.

Sometimes it's the smallest thing that can set me off, I could be in the best form and some idiot in front of me doesn't indicate or someone says or does something that can set me off. Other days i just wake up in shitty form for no reason whatsoever. When I get like that it's very very hard to get out of that kind of humour, of course I don't want to feel or act that way but nothing can shake it. The saying what goes up must come down is very true when it comes to how we feel sometimes. 

The only good thing to come from being in a bad mood is that the grass is always greener and the sun is always brighter the next day, and so it should be.. 

It does make me think though how hard it must be for people that suffer with depression, imagine your worse day magnified by 100 and no sun shining at the end of it. 

Now that's a scary thought x