Holiday Horror

Last Thursday we headed off the Salou for a much needed break and some sought after sun. The kids where so excited as it was only our second family holiday ever and they couldn't wait to play in the pool, go to the beach and head off to the adventure park. A holiday is a time when you get to forget all your troubles and worries, an escape from reality for a little bit. Never when your dreaming of your time away do you think of or prepare for something bad to happen.

Our kids I like to believe are generally well behaved and very mannerly. As a mum I am extremely obsessed and very proud of them as most parents are of their children. They amaze me everyday single day of the week and I love nothing more than to make them happy and see them smile. I sometimes like to "people watch" so I call it, especially other families and how they interact. I shamefully admit that I tend to judge other parents and their parenting skills and I smugly pat myself on the back for what a good job myself and John do with our kids. We all want reassurance that we do a good job as parents and when I see bold and demanding children it makes me feel like I'm doing something right with mine. (Not saying that mine are never bold)

There is nothing worse when your a parent than when your child gets hurt, or isn't well. I cannot describe the feeling in the pit of your stomach, you would do anything to take their pain away or even to trade places with them. It's when you feel completely helpless.

Tuesday night we headed off out to dinner as a family, all in great humour and enjoying the second last night of our holiday. After dinner we sat down poolside to watch the mini disco and magic show. Logan our 6 year old wanted to sit on Daddy's lap (daddy is his hero) but John said sit mommy's for a change. So he did and we started to watch the magic show while Daddy headed off to the bar. Nothing prepared me for what happened next. Logan leaned over onto the table in front of us to get his drink and the whole table top collapsed sideways. All of the glass on the table smashed onto the floor and he went with it. All I remember is hearing the smash, his scream which I cannot get out of head and then looking down. His knee literally looked like it had been bitten by a shark, big chunks of flesh gone out of it. Panic set in, the whole place stopped and everyone was around us, there was blood everywhere. I didn't know what to do, luckily a lady who was a nurse looked me straight in the eyes and told me to come with her. I cradled him in my arms and inside we went, luckily two doctors who were on holidays saw it all happen and they helped the nurse. I sat there with Logan in my arms as they attended to him, I said "don't look down", look at mommy and the first thing he said was "am I gonna die?" Now I don't want to come across dramatic but hearing those words come out of your baby's mouth is heartbreaking even when you know it's nothing fatal that's happened. He then quickly afterwards said "do I still need to go to school" which made me laugh even in all the panic. Trust Logan to worry about school.

The ambulance was called and he was rushed off the the nearest medical centre. Thankfully the nurse and 2 doctors had acted so quickly he lost very little blood. Only one of us was allowed into the room with him at the medical centre so John went in as I wouldn't have been emotionally able to stand there while he was being stitched up. Don't get me wrong I would have if I had to but John is definitely the stronger one of us. I felt like I was going to get sick while I sat in the hallway with Josh and cried, I cried my eyes out. How could I have let this happen. I should have caught him. When we had sat down earlier the table was very wobbly and we were about to move to the next table but someone else sat down before we could. All the what if's going through my head. I felt like the worst parent in the world. Judging other families and my kid was the one who got hurt..... In the end he had 3 cuts, one large and 2 small and had to get 20 stitches on his knee.

That night we slept on either side of him, well I wouldn't call it sleeping I would say we laid there and didn't sleep a wink. I replayed the whole thing over and over in my head and his scream from when it happened is haunting me still. The next day when we headed down for breakfast, he was like a little mini celeb. Everybody was being so kind, asking him how he was and saying that they saw it all happen. One woman even said to me that she was on the balcony when it happened, she saw it all and she said that she couldn't believe how calm I was. Calm!!!!! Me!!! It certainly didn't feel like it. I've never felt panic like it in life. The hotel staff where lovely but I was disappointed that no one actually asked us what happened to see if they could prevent this kind of accident again. Last night he was given a special award and a gift at the end of the mini disco for being the "bravest" boy. It was a nice gesture but it's not going to take away the fact that our child had to get 20 stitches in his leg because the table top wasn't screwed on properly.

I've been in a strange humour the last few days, mixed emotions of guilt, sadness, anger and happiness, happy that it could have been a whole lot worse. Parents go through alot worse than we did and my heart absolutely goes out to any parent that suffers a fraction of what we felt the other night. No child should never have to suffer any kind of pain in life, they are the most precious things on this earth xx

P.S We had a fab holiday despite the incident. Logan is in great form and lapping up all the attention.