What's love got to do with it

When I was young and I imagined my future, I pictured my life and everything that it would be. Meet a guy, fall in love, travel the world, build a home ( with a white picket fence of course) get married and have beautiful babies. Your stereotypical dream life. See I'm the kinda girl that falls in love fast, and I'm also the kind of girl that believes love should be like a fairytale. Just like the movies. But it isn't really, is it? Reality never matches the fantasy. Every love story is different and so is every relationship.

I've been with my partner/fiancé now for over 10 years, and it's pretty fair to say that most relationships have their ups and downs, but ours was one ROCKY start. When we initially met I don't think either of us had planned on anything too serious (but then again no one ever does). We had both been in long relationships prior to meeting, so neither of us eager to get into another one. Only a few weeks (Yes weeks!!!) into the relationship and I (we) became pregnant, a total shock and totally unplanned of course. So we never really had that fun honeymoon period, start of a relationship like others have, because we were hit with a massive dose of reality right from the beginning. Now coming to terms with being pregnant all while getting to know someone is tough. I knew he was a decent guy but insecurities (and hormones) plagued me, thoughts like "was he only with me for the child" caused many arguments. During this time we went through so many emotions and uncertainty, that I wasn't really sure if something that had started off like this could really last. But we were stronger than we thought. Flash forward through the last 10 years and I honestly don't know where they went, so much but so little has happened, and what I mean by this is, we've had 2 kids but not managed a home or wedding (or the travelling the world bit). No matter how hard times got over the last few years, I knew one thing for sure, and that was that I could never imagine my life without him.

How would I describe our relationship? Anyone that knows us, will tell you that we joke about this, we always say "we are just like John and Mary" from Father Ted. We are like an old married couple, bickering about nothing half the time. Nobody and I mean nobody can annoy me like he can, but also nobody can make me smile like he can either. One minute I could literally be cursing him and another minute laughing with him about something stupid. I don't think we take ourselves too serious. We argue about most things that couples argue about, making life decisions, money, the kids etc. We are very alike but totally different at the same time. I hate the outdoors, he loves the outdoors, we have totally different interests, two people you would probably never put together. However we have always enjoyed a good night out and that has never changed in the last 10 years. I can go out and have the best night out with john, as good if not better than any night out with the girls. Now don't get me wrong we are nowhere near perfect, most of the time when he is telling me something I'm not even listening. I have a great knack of zoning out and he is forever giving out to me for my love of social media (he isn't even on Facebook, the big weirdo). But that's us and it just seems to work somehow. 

When I was at home last weekend, I was watching my Mam and Dad. They have always been a very loving and affectionate couple and sometimes a tad inappropriate in public, (For ex. my dad saying "isn't your nana sexy" in front of my kids) but they just seem to be so perfect for each other. Being at home last weekend I realised something though. Love just isn't enough, it matters a lot but it isn't everything. All of their kids have now flew the nest and it's just them now. They are together almost 39 years, which is a big achievement. I wonder what makes a relationship work and sustain for that long? Respect, hard-work, honesty, I'm sure nothing comes easy. When you have kids your whole life and relationship tends to evolve around them. The best that you can hope for, is that when your kids grow up and start their own families, you have a partner you can now enjoy the rest of your life with. It is about finding a life companion, someone to let you be you, to grow and change with you, to challenge you, and most of all a friend, and if your really lucky a best friend.

So what's love got to do with it? A lot? A little? Is it everything? Let me know what you think

Luv Lisa xx